she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
