We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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