How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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