this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
