Don't make out with my wife yet
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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