Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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