Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize