are you still at the devil's house?
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
