I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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