some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
