i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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