how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
