The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Pants are for mortals
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
