he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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