I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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