Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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