speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
