just come out here and I will go home with you...
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
