Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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