she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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