Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize