It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
