How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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