Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
