She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
