White coat. Heels.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
