I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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