farters have to be the big spoon...
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
