they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
