How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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