i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
