$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
