So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
