dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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