Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I need to calm my uterus...
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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