On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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