i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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