the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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