so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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