hell yes lets make some ravioli
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
