5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
