I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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