1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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