butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
