ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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