I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
