that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
