oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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