She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
