My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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